Waiting for the Right Time

I hate to admit it, but I'm dragging my feet when it comes to my professional life.  Well, I guess that's not entirely true.  A more true statement would be:  I'm not really being as proactive as I should with my career.  At least that's how I feel.  In the fast paced world we live in, we've become accustomed to instant gratification, and I'm not immune to wanting results now, and with minimal effort, if you please.  That makes me expect instant results in my career and when it's been a whole 6 weeks since the start of the new year and my idea to reinvent myself, I feel like I should be auditioning already and booking parts and on my way to being the next household name.

When I start to feel anxious and panicky that things aren't happening fast enough, and when I feel like I'm spinning my wheels going nowhere fast, and that I'm never going to get back into this industry, I need to take a deep breath and remind myself that there's no magic wand to wave and no special button I can push to make things go any faster. Slow and steady wins the race.  Despite what people may think, stars are never overnight sensations.  I heard a saying once that for every overnight sensation at least 10+ years went into making them an "instant" success.  Ten years is a bit daunting, but it's a good saying to put perspective on things.

And honestly, I don't think I'm quite ready to start the audition process again (although I really, really want to get back out there).  Part of the advantage to taking such a long time off  from the Industry is the opportunity to turn myself into the most marketable and, therefore, most castable actor I an be.  And I am not the most marketable nor the most castable actor right now.  I am not going to let myself go out an audition until I'm ready, both physically and mentally.  I think I need to set clearly defined goals to reach before I put myself out there again.  And I need to work towards those goals.  I have a bad habit of making lists and setting goals and then not doing anything about them.

Before I start auditioning again, I need to:

• figure out my "type"
• update my look to match my type
• loose a little more weight--at least 50% of the total pounds I plan to drop
• update my headshot
• take at least 1 screen acting class (before submitting for film auditions)
• get control of my audition anxiety (especially before submitting for film auditions)

While I work on those things to get me physically and mentally ready to audition, I should probably also formulate a business plan for myself.  It's so easy to forget that acting is a business and the product I'm trying to sell is myself.  Plus, there are so many different ways to achieve the goal of professional actor that I know I'm going to need to create a road map for myself to follow.  This is a personal journey and I can only follow my own path.

Image and the Business

No matter what anyone wants to admit or believe, the way you look is the number one factor in getting or not getting work in the acting world whether on stage or on screen.  Especially on screen.  The screen is completely unforgiving.  At least on stage an actor has some distance from the audience and can hide/fake appearance.  But on screen, what you look like is what you look like, often with an unflattering extra 15 pounds that the camera somehow adds.  So being thin and pretty can give an actor or actress a leg up on the competition, especially when that competition is already thin and pretty

I'm not saying that talent doesn't have anything to do with getting cast or not, because it certainly does.  But if you don't fit the look the production is going for you never get an audition to show off your talent.  If a casting director is looking for a 20's to 30's actress for a part, they're looking for a skinny/fit 20's to 30's actress (they won't come out and say they're looking for skinny, but they are), so if I were to submit for that part, they'd see an average (i.e. not thin or fat, i.e. too fat for thin parts and to thin for fat parts) 20's to 30's actress and I'd get put in the dump pile.  Likewise, if a casting director were looking for a fat 20's to 30's actress I'd also make it into the dump pile, thus not getting any auditions to show off my talent and possibly getting cast.

I don't really like the fact that this industry is so focused on looks.  But I can't change how the system works; I can't take on the entire entertainment industry and try to change how it's always worked.  I'm not a crusader; I'm an actress trying to get work.

So, what can I do?  Change my image!  Loose weight!  Get in better shape!  Update my look!  Become fashionable!  So that's what I am going to do.  There are a lot of things I need to do to get my career back on track.  I need to take some lessons on film acting to perfect my technique.  I need auditioning workshops to get over the anxiety of getting back to auditioning.  I need to get new headshots to better market myself.  I need to start going back to mixers and screenings to meet people and network.  None of these things would be worth much if I don't change the way I look.  I don't need to drastically change things--at least I don't think I need to drastically change, but I do need to change them.  So that's exactly what I'll do.