I'd Like to Thank The Academy

Wow!  This is such an honor.  First, I'd like to thank the Academy for this award.  I'd like to thank all my theatre teachers and acting coaches starting way back in elementary school; Jackie Capps, Pam Eakin, Heather Bryson, David LeMaster, Rhona Leber, and Ed Muth just to name a few.  You helped fuel the flames of my passion for this craft and have made me a better actor.  I want to thank my wonderful husband, Dennis.  It's not always easy to love a crazy actor, but you've always been there for me and supported me as I reached for the stars.  You always told me I could do anything and never doubted me.  I love you and I wouldn't be where I am today without you.  I want to thank my Mom for never telling me that I shouldn't act and never telling me to "get a real job."  I love you.  Thanks to the director for helping me achieve such a performance and to the casting director and producers for trusting me with this role.  Thank you so much.

Yes, I've had my Oscar acceptance speech written in my head since I was thirteen.  Whoopie Goldberg hosted the Academy Awards that year, and at the end of the show, she looked in the camera as if she was speaking directly to me and said, "This is for all the young people out there who want to become actors.  If you are dedicated and work hard enough you can follow your dreams and perhaps someday be on this stage," or something to that effect.  It was epic.

A few years ago, I visited a friend in Los Angeles.  It was my first time in Hollywood and it was Oscar season.  I was doing the tourist thing next to the Kodak Theater, when I stumbled upon a free exhibit about the history of the Awards.  To my surprise and delight, at the end of the exhibit, you got to hold an Oscar.  A real, honest to god, Academy Award.  I nearly feinted!  I waited in line with butterflies in my stomach.  My palms were sweaty.  I had to keep reminding myself not to cry in front of a room full of strangers when my turn finally came.  All of the people in front of me just picked it up, goofed off, then moved on.  I, however, took the time to practice my speech and prepare for the day when it would be my turn at the podium.  I took hold of Oscar, steadied myself, and began my speech.  Quiet fell over the crowd of people waiting behind me.  All eyes were trained on me.  And when I finished my speech, a round of applause exploded from everyone watching.  I had given Oscar his proper respect.

My Precious.  Someday you will be mine.

Waiting for the Right Time

I hate to admit it, but I'm dragging my feet when it comes to my professional life.  Well, I guess that's not entirely true.  A more true statement would be:  I'm not really being as proactive as I should with my career.  At least that's how I feel.  In the fast paced world we live in, we've become accustomed to instant gratification, and I'm not immune to wanting results now, and with minimal effort, if you please.  That makes me expect instant results in my career and when it's been a whole 6 weeks since the start of the new year and my idea to reinvent myself, I feel like I should be auditioning already and booking parts and on my way to being the next household name.

When I start to feel anxious and panicky that things aren't happening fast enough, and when I feel like I'm spinning my wheels going nowhere fast, and that I'm never going to get back into this industry, I need to take a deep breath and remind myself that there's no magic wand to wave and no special button I can push to make things go any faster. Slow and steady wins the race.  Despite what people may think, stars are never overnight sensations.  I heard a saying once that for every overnight sensation at least 10+ years went into making them an "instant" success.  Ten years is a bit daunting, but it's a good saying to put perspective on things.

And honestly, I don't think I'm quite ready to start the audition process again (although I really, really want to get back out there).  Part of the advantage to taking such a long time off  from the Industry is the opportunity to turn myself into the most marketable and, therefore, most castable actor I an be.  And I am not the most marketable nor the most castable actor right now.  I am not going to let myself go out an audition until I'm ready, both physically and mentally.  I think I need to set clearly defined goals to reach before I put myself out there again.  And I need to work towards those goals.  I have a bad habit of making lists and setting goals and then not doing anything about them.

Before I start auditioning again, I need to:

• figure out my "type"
• update my look to match my type
• loose a little more weight--at least 50% of the total pounds I plan to drop
• update my headshot
• take at least 1 screen acting class (before submitting for film auditions)
• get control of my audition anxiety (especially before submitting for film auditions)

While I work on those things to get me physically and mentally ready to audition, I should probably also formulate a business plan for myself.  It's so easy to forget that acting is a business and the product I'm trying to sell is myself.  Plus, there are so many different ways to achieve the goal of professional actor that I know I'm going to need to create a road map for myself to follow.  This is a personal journey and I can only follow my own path.